Smallpox, Catherine, and a Little Boy Named Alexander Markov

Living in the great U.S of A, my generation has never really experienced a plague or an epidemic. I mean we’ve had the swine flu scare and all that jazz, but I can’t say that my life was ever quite endangered. There is a lot of hype about vaccinations these days but I’m sure the majority of us got the chickenpox vaccine. Now a vaccine is literally the virus (in mild form) injected into your body to build an immunity. Some people are just fine and dandy but some people, like me for example, get a mild form of the sickness. Chickenpox vaccine? I friggin got the chickenpox. Measles, mumps, rubella vaccine? I friggin got the mumps. And let me tell you, those suckers hurt. One time in the 6^th grade I even got Scarlet Fever. Are you kidding me?!? I thought that died out in like the 18^th century. But noooooooo, this girl went delirious because of her extremely high fever and had to miss her 6^th grade Valentine’s Day dance. It was tragic.

But you know what? Vaccinations didn’t always exist. In fact, in the beginning of their existence, they were seen as a death wish and anyone who got one was considered a fool. Smallpox was a disease that swept Moscow, Russia during Catherine’s reign. Some of you might think ahhh it was just small pox and would liken it to chickenpox. Heck no. Goggle it, I dare you. You will basically be scarred for the rest of your life. Talk about a horrific and deforming diseases. And this thing was contagious. From the stories Catherine told, people she knew would get it one day and drop dead several days later. Catherine worried, and for good reason, about the health of her and her son Paul. So, she decided to take the brave step and bring Dr. Thomas Dimsdale to Russia administer the prick of the needle.

Have you ever wondered where they got the actual virus from to inject into your body? I don’t know about today but back then they got it from sick people! Literally, they stuck a needle into pustules of a patient and drew it out. That, is disgusting. Dimsdale was super worried about the procedure. People could die from it and no one wants to be responsible for the death of the Russian Czarina. That would be no bueno. Catherine shot down his cautions but finally agreed to allow him to experiment on some of the local YOUNGSTERS. (Wow.) After that, it was decided that she would be inoculated on October 12, which just so happens to be my birthday. (I will be expecting many cards this year.)

In preparations, Catherine stopped eating meat and drinking wine prior to this date and began to take calomel, powder of crab’s claws, and a tartar emetic. What was this for exactly? I have no bloody idea. Dr. Dimsdale took the smallpox matter from a peasant boy named Alexander Markov (don’t worry, he was ennobled, haha) and stuck it into her arm. She then went into isolation and “exercised outdoors for two or three hours a day.” Now I don’t exactly know how female rulers of the 18^th century exercised. They didn’t quite put on their Nike shoes and go for a run on some trails. Flashes of Jane Austen movies appear in my mind when girls get headaches and are  so weak that they were bedridden for like a week. I’ve always wanted to yell to the television “RUB SOME DIRT ON IT AND WALK IT OFF.”

But at the end of the day, she survived and by 1780 twenty thousand Russians were inoculated and by 1800, two million were.

Fist bump to Catherine the Great.